life after college? more like death after college...

so for months i searched high and low for a "grown up" job to kick me out of the broke and unorganized slump i was suffering from post-graduation. i thought what i needed (there i go again, thinking i know what's best for me) was a structured, 9-6, monday-friday, office job. seems understandable right? i've been sleeping in like every morning all summer and accomplished a whole lot of nothing since i've been home, so some structure in my life would be good, right?
HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
boy i am so stupid sometimes. in what world could i, shannon hill, excel to the best of my abilities, in a CUBICLE?!?!?
i've been at my new job [Dan Gamel RV, Corporate Call Center Receptionist] for about 2 and a half weeks now and i'm bored to tears already. yeah, and for those of you that actually KNOW me, you were probably dying laughing as you read my job title, because it clearly is not shannon material. i can't sit still for more than two seconds without the urge to have a dance party, take a roadtrip, or perform a stand-up rountine on top of the fireplace. (o:
so here i am, sitting. and sitting. "Thank you for calling dan gamel's rv centers, this is Shannon! how may i direct your call?" and sitting some more. my office even has myspace and facebook blocked from the web! i'm having to write this blog at home right now, even though i've been in front of a computer all day long...cruel and unusual punishment i tell you.
so how do i survive? i make jokes with old people on the phone, sqeeze the crap out that pink stress ball, and stare at pictures of rob pattinson all day. that's how. and until some airline agrees that i would be a great asset to their in-flight team, here i stay...to rot, and whine, in this crual joke of town called fresno.

go figure.

i was going along just fine, talking to him a few times a month, for the past 3 years. i missed him, but our lives were on two different levels, let alone two different countries for so long, that it was more like a long distance pen pal than the solid presence in my life that he once was.

but then he came to visit.


how is it that you don't realize how much you miss someone, and how much you need someone, until you see them again?


and how is it fair, or right, for someone to come back into your life, just to have to yank themselves back out 2 weeks later?


well, the 2 weeks are officially up. he left my house at 4am to go back home today.


how is it even possible that after less than 24 hours, i miss him more now than i have in the past 3 years combined? i managed to have an amazing, exciting, and fun-filled college experience without seeing him during any of that time, but now, for some reason, i wonder how i made it from day to day.


silly me, i thought a nice visit would be a great idea. silly me, it was more like a teaser.


tyler lives in mexico. get that through your head shannon. he doesn't live here anymore, he can't live here anymore, and you can't live there. it's not going to work out. not now. so stop getting excited when you have a fun night together, because it's not going to last. he'll be gone again in 2 weeks, and you'll end up feeling more alone than you've ever felt.





so this is why they say that hind-sight is 20-20 huh? go figure.

my sidekick. my bestie. my heart.

i hope you enjoyed your vaca here. i hope you have happy and content feelings and emotions like you're supposed to have after vacations, BECAUSE I CERTAINLY DON'T!

move back please. i'm a mess here without you.