the good, the bad, and the ugly.

things that happened to shannon last week:
1. her company went out of business.
2. she got laid off.
3. her sister turned 21!
4. she went to hollywood for the weekend.
5. she scored a 123 in crunk bowling!
6. two random girls asked to be friends with her, because she obviously rules.
7. she went clubbing with her sibs.
8. she got to drive her brother's really really fast car!
9. she got a personal serenade by some kick ass musicians!
10. oh yeah, and she's no loner friends with trista milanovich...

true story.

shannon hill's top ten vids of '08:

10. the bitch documentaries.
*featuring trista milanovich, shannon hill, and "drally" somewhere in the background.



8. mastercard "we want the funk" commercial.
*featuring shan's favorite commercial of all time.



7. premonition trailor "melanie and nick style"
*featuring my brother's girlfriend molly, made by some crazy days of our lives fan.



6. & 5. "drunk history" volumes 1 & 2.
*featuring micheal cera, clark duke, and jack black all acting out different history stories being re-told by a drunk narrarator's perspective.




4. a fan-made beaver montage.
*featuring a ton of scenes with my brother (as the beaver in greek), put together by some crazy polish fan with too much time on his hands.



3. clark and micheal's "live linxxx dating tape"
*featuring a 20-year-old clark duke and a 17-year-old micheal cera (aka the love of my life) making a online dating mockumentary.



2. the twilight movie trailor.
*featuring rob pattinson (and a few other people that don't really matter right?), because he is just too damn hot. geez.




ANDDDDDD THE NUMBER ONE SPOT GOES TO................

1. drinking out of cups.
*featuring the audio of an east coast druggie tripping on acid in a closet by himself, and an animated lizard to interpret his incoherent speech.

i think you should try this.

try listening to the radio on your way to work today.
that's right, i said RADIO. so turn off your ipod you spoiled brats, and see what kind of adventures the radio takes you on down memory lane.
it's honestly my favorite part of the day....my 30 minute drive to work each morning where i blast the most random tunes the radio stations in fresno can provide me.
it's amazing how each song reminds you of someone or something or some time. every single song. and the best part about it, is that you never know what the next song will be...what old memories will be resurfaced...and what people you'll be remined of and want to text the very next second so they know you're thinking of them.
so i tried it one day last week. every song that came on the radio on my drive to work....i texted whomever it reminded me of...and ya know what....it totally made my day better. i ended up texting back in forth with like 4 of my friends that i hadn't seen or talked to in awhile. and now i've made it a ritual. what's funny is the timing of things like these....it's like God knows exactly who i need to talk to make my day better, and who needs a little reminder call that i still care about them, so he sends me these little hints through the radio or something...haha.
i know that sounds really cheesy, but it's been true for me. so how are you supposed to listen for life's little nudges if you listen to the same cd everyday? expand your mind kids! and TUNE IN!

life after college? more like death after college...

so for months i searched high and low for a "grown up" job to kick me out of the broke and unorganized slump i was suffering from post-graduation. i thought what i needed (there i go again, thinking i know what's best for me) was a structured, 9-6, monday-friday, office job. seems understandable right? i've been sleeping in like every morning all summer and accomplished a whole lot of nothing since i've been home, so some structure in my life would be good, right?
HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
boy i am so stupid sometimes. in what world could i, shannon hill, excel to the best of my abilities, in a CUBICLE?!?!?
i've been at my new job [Dan Gamel RV, Corporate Call Center Receptionist] for about 2 and a half weeks now and i'm bored to tears already. yeah, and for those of you that actually KNOW me, you were probably dying laughing as you read my job title, because it clearly is not shannon material. i can't sit still for more than two seconds without the urge to have a dance party, take a roadtrip, or perform a stand-up rountine on top of the fireplace. (o:
so here i am, sitting. and sitting. "Thank you for calling dan gamel's rv centers, this is Shannon! how may i direct your call?" and sitting some more. my office even has myspace and facebook blocked from the web! i'm having to write this blog at home right now, even though i've been in front of a computer all day long...cruel and unusual punishment i tell you.
so how do i survive? i make jokes with old people on the phone, sqeeze the crap out that pink stress ball, and stare at pictures of rob pattinson all day. that's how. and until some airline agrees that i would be a great asset to their in-flight team, here i stay...to rot, and whine, in this crual joke of town called fresno.

go figure.

i was going along just fine, talking to him a few times a month, for the past 3 years. i missed him, but our lives were on two different levels, let alone two different countries for so long, that it was more like a long distance pen pal than the solid presence in my life that he once was.

but then he came to visit.


how is it that you don't realize how much you miss someone, and how much you need someone, until you see them again?


and how is it fair, or right, for someone to come back into your life, just to have to yank themselves back out 2 weeks later?


well, the 2 weeks are officially up. he left my house at 4am to go back home today.


how is it even possible that after less than 24 hours, i miss him more now than i have in the past 3 years combined? i managed to have an amazing, exciting, and fun-filled college experience without seeing him during any of that time, but now, for some reason, i wonder how i made it from day to day.


silly me, i thought a nice visit would be a great idea. silly me, it was more like a teaser.


tyler lives in mexico. get that through your head shannon. he doesn't live here anymore, he can't live here anymore, and you can't live there. it's not going to work out. not now. so stop getting excited when you have a fun night together, because it's not going to last. he'll be gone again in 2 weeks, and you'll end up feeling more alone than you've ever felt.





so this is why they say that hind-sight is 20-20 huh? go figure.

my sidekick. my bestie. my heart.

i hope you enjoyed your vaca here. i hope you have happy and content feelings and emotions like you're supposed to have after vacations, BECAUSE I CERTAINLY DON'T!

move back please. i'm a mess here without you.

robbie rob rob.

i'd like to take a moment of silence for the sexiest man alive.

.............................

ok good. now moving on...

i had an interview today. ya know, for another one of those grown up jobs that i've been applying all summer for. and monday morning i will recieve a phone call, most likely informing me that they went with another, more experienced candidate.

you'd think that after 4 months of rejection i'd get used to the idea...that i would learn to not get my hopes up for each interview, and i would just quit applying for jobs all together and join the san francisco street bum union or something....

well ladies and gentlemen, here's a news flash for ya: i'm an idiot.

i'm the classic woman that aims too high. i want anything and everything that is just out of reach for me. i want a job that i don't deserve. i want people to see in me some great potential that i'm probably not capable of. i want to live in a fancy city. i want money to never be an issue for me. i want to go sledding in july. i want to be 19. i want to experience each new and exciting college memory all over again. i want to travel the world. i want to weigh about hundred pounds less than i feel right now. i want to roller skate over speed bumps. i want edward cullen to be real. and i want him - to want me. i want clarity. i want certainty. i want things i cannot have.

so what does this all mean...where's the line between: having high hopes - and aiming too high? learning to be content - and settling?

it's a thin line if you ask me;

and i'm big fool.

ok let's have a talk here little boys...

alright, i have to say something. something that just reeeeally chaps my hide about guys. and before you go thinking i'm talking about YOU, let me clarify that i am speaking of SEVERAL guys. i'm talkin' TONS. hell, i'd even go as far to say almost ALL MEN. (after all, "they're all the same," right kari?) hahaha [shameless plug of an inside joke. sorry. now back to seriousness...]
so here's the scenerio: i get onto myspace, facebook, or even my cell phone to find a message from some guy in my past. whether we dated, were just friends, or were a complicated mess, i haven't seen or talked to them in ages. rarely did we stop talking because of an abrupt event, but mainly because we moved on with our lives, found someone knew, and fell out of touch. i dont take offense to this; i understand that when guys have a girlfriend, their lives tend to be very wrapped up in that. the guy friends that i have that have continued to be close friends with me, no matter who they were dating are 1) few and far between, and 2) some of my best friends because of it. but whatever, i stop talking to a guy because he has a new new girlfriend...no big deal. i dont need them in my life. i have lots of friends. time to move on.
now here comes the part that really bugs: say this guy from my past writes me a message...trying to catch up, seeing how i'm doing, asking if we can hang out, etc.
are they just writing out of the blue like it seems? is it a harmless and selfless gesture of kindness? did they just wake up one day and finally realize, wow, i need shannon in my life again? OF COURSE NOT. that dead beat loser just broke up with their girlfriend. so predictable. now the reasons for reconnecting may be different; they may have realized after their break up, that 1) they need more friends again because they dropped all their buddies at the drop of a whim, 2) they want to rekindle an old romance because they think that maybe they skipped over the right girl already, 3) they had a jealous girlfriend that didn't want them talking to other girls, or 4) they're just plain bored, lonely, and incapable of being single.
well no thanks buddy. i'm not interested in whatever your story or phony epiphany is. i don't want to be your booty call, and i sure as hell don't want to be your friend...you suck at it!! and don't worry; i'll be kind and civil. i'll give you all the normal small talk responses just to make you feel good about yourself for the moment and your "random" act of friendliness. because i know that in just a few weeks everything will be back to normal. you will move on to the next girlfriend in your quick, usual fashion, and fade out of my life once again.
but please, i beg you, consider next time....not wasting my time.

why haven't i posted anything in so long?...

because my mother taught me - "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!"

no but seriously.
this whole "job hunting" thing in the "real world" is really starting to piss me off.
i would like a job handed to me on silver platter (or golden batton) like my degree please.
and since this has not happened yet, all i want to do is whine.
and no one likes a whiner.


so untill further notice: no blogging from shan.
(trust me, i am making the internet world a happier place)

an ode to you: my stupid breasts.

if only i had a nickel for every time my boobs took over a picture.....

well apparently there's only room for one of us in this town (my face or my breasts), and my boobies like to take the cake.

this is ridiclous. how much do breast reduction surgeries cost? anyone know? anyone want to pay for it??????

damn.

the "Toast-Quick" conveyor toaster by Hatco.

possibly the worst investment cbu has ever made. what i wouldn't give for the day my bagel came out of that thing not only in a quick fashion, but actually toasted. i guess the only idiot is me though, considering i try time and time again to toast my bagel in that piece of shit, and it never delivers. no but seriously, sometimes it never delievers....like one half of the bagel gets stuck in there, never to be seen again. like that fucking missing sock that disappears in the dryer somehow.
ridiculous.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i hate ring by springgggggggggggggggggggg

but what about april???

there's furry february...mustache march..... and.... and... april showers??? dang it. where's the facial hair lovin' for april? so so sad.

i love it when guys have staches. i wish every cute guy would grow a dirt stache and/or a scruffy beard. if they only know that it automatically makes them ten times hotter....hmm.

so i'm sitting in the computer lab right now because i told myself that this is only place i would get down to business and do my graduation exit surveys and possibly start some papers. and here i am, blogging about mustaches. i think i'll try the library next time. this place is too distracting. maybe it's because i have an undiagnosed case of ADD or maybe it's because secret lover just walked by, (*gasp*) looking better than ever. the world may never know.

still recooperating from all of kari's birthday weekend festivities. apparently i am getting way too old for all this late night business. ahh tear. party on friday (kind of), club on saturday, and dinner on sunday....and what did i get from all this? about 90 ridiculous pictures and one giant headache. i'm going to miss these kinds of weekends....

aaron joins tobias in the blue man group.

arrested development. how was that show only on for 3 seasons? i think that maybe our culture just wasn't ready for it back then. i bet if it had started this year, it would have taken off like the office. fingers crossed that an AD movie will be coming soon!

anyways, today my brother sent me a picture of himself all decked out in blue costume paint for an upcoming episode for greek (which i don't think i was allowed to post yet, but oh well). it reminded me of one of my favorite AD episodes where tobias mis-reads a flyer about being blue and thinks it is an audition for the blue man group. ahhh comedy at it's finest. haha.

well i'm off to nap before my night class.

oh how i love naptime....

(o:

peace. love. and tobias.

change the channel please.

i can't think of many things worse than a tv with no remote. oh, and an america's next top marathon playing on it.
today was my last chapel at cbu...making a grand total of 120 chapels i've attended in my college career. 15 each semester. wow. i'd like to say that the cbu chapels have changed my life.
but then i'd be liying.
out of 120 chapels, how many do you think i remember? probably about five.
FIVE. only five have succeed in not boring me to death.
that statement makes me so sad. sad, because i know i'm not the only one here that feels that way. believe it or not people, it is actually possible to preach the gospel and NOT be boring! so why is it that you are trying to reach our generation with these sermons that even put professors to sleep? how about you teach us something that makes the nonbelieving students actually want to be Christian. i am friends with a lot of the international students here, and it scares me to know that attending cbu chapels might have had even had the opposite affect on them, and prevented them from ever wanting to be Christian. i feel like "fun Christians" are made to be oxymorons here, when that just isn't how it is in real world.
it's a good thing this blog is my personal journaling tool, and not a school newspaper article...because i probably just opened a whole can of worms. but regardless, i just want to conclude with this.....
i love jesus. always have. always will.
i am not perfect, but he loves me back anyways. and that's the beauty of it. i can be fun, silly, crazy, and every other emotion, and he will still love me.
my hope is that cbu will be able to reach every single student in their own unique way. that chapel will become an opportunity for growth and change, never hindering.

Ecclesiastes 3:1,4
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven...
a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,"

the end? or the beginning?

i'd like to start off by clarifying a few things. first of all, i always type in lowercase letters. this does not mean i am illiterate or poorly educated. i merely like to keep things simple. i am not sure when this habit started; maybe somewhere around my second year in myspace world...but regardless, it has stuck with me. so if you are an all caps freak of sorts, you'd better stop here.



i also want to clarify why i am starting this blog. i have come to realize that these past few years i have changed in about a million different ways. my opinions on people and things are changing on a constant basis. i remember reading a diary recently from when i was in elementary school and thinking, wow...i was such a stupid brat back then. how i wrote and what i wrote defined who i was during that stage in my life. so that's what i'd like to do now. start writing about adventures, random thoughts, good times, bad times, and everything in between, in hopes of one day looking back and saying, wow....i was still a stupid brat. haha well you get the idea...



so here i am. day one. three and a half weeks until my cal baptist life ceases to exist. el fin.

and how in the world did this happen?

how in the world am i graduating from college? i expected to feel ready for this change. i expected to feel like an adult...ready to move on into the "real world."

today i went to the mall with my roommates [including our unofficial roommate, josie] and drove there with the windows down singing and dancing to the full blown music inside.

not sure if that's what you're supposed to do when you're 21, but i do. and quite frequently.

it was one of those bitter-sweet moments where you're laughing and happy with your friends, and sad at the same time because you know everything is about to change. i mean seriously, they say college is the best and worst years of your life.

and oh boy were they right.

i am a firm believer in no regrets. however, if i had to regret something, it would have to be not starting this blog sooner. it would be amazing to look back at all those "what was i thinking!" moments throughout my college years. i have liked some stupid boys. i have had some stupid friends. and shirley i have done some stupid things (most likely involving the stupids mentioned above). (o; but Lord knows that i have learned from all of it.



"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." - Maria Robinson