home sweet home.

fresno. the more time i spend here, the more beauty i find in it.


i've complained about this town more times than i count, and always told myself that i would never move back here, never stay here for long, and most definately not find any kind of happiness here.

however, certain circumstances that are out of my control have put me here...for who knows how long...so i have been trying to come to terms with that and make "the best" of my situation. because no one likes a negative nancy, right?

well, in all honesty- even though i told myself this, over the past ten months i haven't really given fresno the chance. whether it's san frany or LA, i have been going out of town almost every other weekend. i've been trying to escape the realities of me living at home, rather than facing them head on and making the most of it. i came to this realization about 2 weeks ago...the realization that i haven't been giving the people or places here in fresno the time of day. i blow off guys on a constant basis because deep down i'm afraid that if i get into a relationship they'll somehow "force" me to stay here. i go to church off and on, but i haven't found a stable church home. i haven't even unpacked some of my moving boxes. it's like i've made every effort to make sure that i am not rooted in this town in any possible way. and what has all this done for me?? i ended feeling like a nomad in my own home town. but the only person responsible for making me feel this way was myself.


it's amazing what kind of changes can happen in one's life in just 2 weeks when they decide to actually live it. i have a new church home and possibly a new bible study. i have a new set of friends. i have a new weekly hang out. i have a new crush! i have a new job...and i'm actively pursuing all of them!!! for the first time in my life, i'm actually giving fresno a chance to make me happy. i'm learning that i don't need to drive 3 hours to find what i'm looking for in life. there's so much available for me here, all i have to do is be open to experience it.

so this is me now. happy. i'm finding art in everyday things. from the tree blossoms that look like snow falling, to the clear skies showcasing the real snow on nearby mountaions. from the giant wall murals in downtown, to the funky paint creations we made in mel's living room. from watching abigail & jonathon's bands perform in tower, to challenging the boys in a game of rock band.


i'm giving this place a chance, and loving every minute because of it.